Releasing the Overwhelm
Being a lifelong procrastinator (we all do it and I’ve often done it to excess) I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out the causes and practical solutions.
Have you ever wondered why you procrastinate? There are so many reasons we procrastinate. Procrastination may be a trauma response, it may be fear, anxiety or boredom and on and on. In essence, some part of our nervous system is in a state of overwhelm whether consciously or unconsciously.
Procrastination is our body’s or mind’s attempt to avoid uncomfortable emotions.
Exploring exactly why those emotions arrise to begin with can give us the freedom to create a new and more empowering experience for ourselves. We do that by getting very, very specific with our story. Here are 4 steps to uncovering the cause of the overwhelm that limits your success.
1) When does procrastination show up?
Is it when you want to do a work or school project? Or when you want to pay bills? Or when I’m getting ready for a social function? When do you find yourself procrastinating?
2) How does procrastination manifest in you? What behaviors do you use to avoid.
Do you watch TV or binge on YouTube? Do you placate with food? Do you take a nap or just get tired? Perhaps you do your taxes or some other task when you should be prepping to visit your in-laws?
I threw that last one in there because even doing something very productive can be procrastination if it is used as a way of avoiding the thing you actually wanted or needed to do, because you don’t want to feel the feelings it brings up.
3) What specific feelings come up for you?
Do you feel anger? Sadness? Frustration? Something else entirely? What is at the root of those specific feelings?
Why are those feelings present? Is it the actual thing you are procrastinating on or is it what it reminds you? Or is there another way the experience is connected in your mind to something painful?
4) What thoughts are behind those feelings for you?
You don’t know. You don’t know where to begin. You’re not good at it anyway or someone else does it better. If I succeed people will expect more of me. Or perhaps it’s associated with a person or event that creates discomfort for you.
You can find the answers to these steps on your own, in any way that works for you. Meditation or journaling or EFT Tapping are some good options. Or you can do this in collaboration with the support of a trusted friend or coach.
Using the steps we’ve explored above, here is one example from my life of when the overwhelm and resulting procrastination come up. As i share my process, explore the steps in yourself.
1)When:
If something has too many steps or i don’t know where to begin. Doing my taxes is a good example. -- Where do you find yourself procrastinating?
2)How:
One primary way it shows up fpr me is watching videos on Youtube to avoid the discomfort or perceived drudgery of the task. Or it may be a bodily response where i get too tired to do anything. -- How does procrastination manifest for you or in your body?
3)Feelings:
For me the feelings may include frustration or sadness that i’m not accomplishing what i set before me or even victim stories that other people can do this so why can’t I. -- What feelings do you notice?
4)Thoughts:
“This is too hard”, “I don’t want to do it”, “I don’t know where to begin”, are all examples of thoughts that show up for me.--What thoughts show up for you?
Having the information provided in the four steps above, allows you to create an action plan with small wins that eventually build to bigger wins so you can build a new more empowering way of being in the world and in your life.
Using myself as merely one example of the myriad reasons. A common refrain in my brain is “It’s too hard!” That mantra rattles around up there a lot when i don’t want to do something and throughout my life I learned a pattern of avoidance.
Certainly undiagnosed ADD played into my procrastination as did being raised by someone with undiagnosed ADD so I learned similar traits. Beyond that though there has been anxiety and overwhelm.
Some of that came from feeling like I had so many things to do and not being able to decide which was the most valuable or important. Or maybe it was too overwhelming even to try to think of everything I had to do. After all, I’d never be able to get it all done anyway so why even think of it. In essence, I did not trust myself.
Then there’s, if I do xyz thing, somebody might not approve or they might judge my work or even me for it. There was also a lack of confidence in myself that I could complete a task because I had not built up the habit and neural pathways that come from creating wins.
And underneath all that were stories of not enough or I won’t be loved. Working through this (and it’s always a work in progress) over time both on my own and with the support of my own coaches, being compassionate with myself and using EFT Tapping to release the negative emotions s i could create those small wins helped me grow to trust myself. That continues to be an ongoing process. A process which continues to lead to new and greater freedoms in my life.
In my next newsletter, I’ll share one specific example of how I used those 4 exploratory steps to move through my blocks, change my limiting beliefs and create a more empowering habit that has rippling effects outward in developing the faith and confidence that i can do what i set my mind to.
Until then, if you want to support in exploring what keeps you from achieving your desires or releasing the emotional blocks that limit you, let’s talk.
Remove the chains that keep you from soaring.