It can be hard to accept praise sometimes or to fully acknowledge ourselves.
There’s a whole spectrum from fully embracing it to it feeling toxic for some to only accepting acknowledgement to a certain threshold. The reasons for this can be varied and vast from fear of appearing arrogant to discomfort with attention, past trauma, cultural or familial expectations and more.
Here’s one way it has shown up for me:
“You’ve helped me more effectively than a regular therapist.”
That’s something I heard from a client of mine recently. In fact, I’ve heard some version of that sentiment over and over again throughout the years. I’m always honored by receiving that praise.
It’s especially nourishing, given when I first started seeing clients, I would have many hours of anxiety before each and every session. With thoughts like, “Will they feel supported by me?”, “Will I know what to say?”, “Will they feel heard?”, Will they get the relief they are seeking?” and so many more anxious thoughts.
It would not be true to say, I never feel butterflies before a session anymore. What is true however, is that I have so much more trust in myself now in the magic I co-create with my clients.
At the same time I realize there has been a part of me that has felt uncomfortable to publicly share those words. A part of me that feels if I announce that someone shared this with me, that people will think, I’m claiming to be better than all therapists. Or worse maybe they’ll think I’m casting dispersions on all therapists.
I know that’s not the truth and yet my fears around either offending others or sounding braggadocios have prevented me from fully publicly celebrating myself.
I feel honored by the trust my clients put in me and I’m grateful that my continued quest for deeper insights and tools to support the human psyche as well as my presence and the way I support my clients to feel seen pays off in the results we get together.
It’s valuable to fully celebrate that. Otherwise, I’m doing a disservice not only to myself, but I’m also not fully honoring of the clients who have shared that sentiment with me. Of course, I’m also doing a disservice to those of you who may not yet know me and could benefit from my gifts.
Accepting the accolades we receive builds our self confidence, creates stronger relationships, builds leadership and influence, reduces self doubt and increases joy.
So, in this moment, I’m choosing to fully celebrate with you, the skills and the connections I’ve cultivated that have lead to my clients sharing over and over again some version of “You’ve helped me more effectively than a regular therapist.”
What is something specific you are not fully celebrating or even disowning in some way? What gets in your way? What would be different if you could take it in?
If you’d like support around that, let’s have a conversation.
Self celebration is a super power of mine and my clients. It can be your super power too!
“Look into a mirror, make eye contact with yourself, and say ‘I love me’ as many times as possible during the day.”
— Wayne Dyer
“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
— Fred Rodgers