Well actually the question someone asked me << Test First Name >>,was, "Is it really necessary to give yourself permission to fuck it up?" She was asking me not simply about my ethos, that we can give ourselves permission to be imperfect in service of putting ourselves and our creations out in the world but about the specifics of the words I use.
What words we use are going to be different for each of us. For me the answer was an absolute YES! When I'm trying something new, when i'm putting myself out there in a way that stretches my comfort zone, I have to give myself Permission To Fuck It Up!
It doesn't mean permission to not try and it's certainly not that I want things to go awry. But the words are important for me because, it is saying, while it might not be comfortable if things get totally messed up or if I fail miserably, it's also not the end of the world and I get to learn something.
I know for myself, I've missed out on so much for fear of not knowing how, for fear of doing it wrong and for fear of being embarrassed. When have those thoughts held you back? I still face those fears at times but this phrase is a reminder of my resilience and allows me to take the steps to soar.
Giving ourselves permission to "fuck it up" is a powerful mindset shift. It breaks down the rigid standards we often impose on ourselves, born from fear of judgment or failure, and reminds us that growth rarely happens without stumbles.
When we consciously allow ourselves to make mistakes, we invite authenticity, learning, and resilience into our lives. It’s about accepting that while perfection is comforting, it’s often an illusion that holds us back from fully engaging with life.
In many ways, this permission is vital because it relieves the pressure to perform flawlessly and shifts our focus from the outcome to the experience itself to the process of engaging with life. The freedom to make mistakes without self-recrimination is liberating, allowing us to approach new endeavors with curiosity and openness.
As we dismantle the inner critic, we can replace harsh self-judgment with a kinder, more understanding voice that says, “This didn’t go as planned, but it’s part of the process.” This fosters a healthier, more compassionate relationship with ourselves and our work.
Each of us has unique ways of granting this permission. For some, it might be simply telling themselves, “It’s okay to get this wrong.” For others, it may involve a more visceral phrase like "permission to fuck it up" because of the rawness and realness it conveys.
These words encapsulate the grit and boldness of self-compassion, acknowledging that imperfection is not only tolerable but also necessary in the process of growth and expansion.
By embracing this permission, we create room to fail, learn, and grow without compromising our self-worth. This freedom not only supports our personal development but also fuels creative expression and meaningful risk-taking, allowing us to move closer to our true potential.
What words work for you and help you to go from frozen to action? Let me know.
Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together — Brené Brown
Perfection is the enemy of progress — Winston Churchill
Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different. -Mark Manson