In the pursuit of personal and professional growth, we often encounter periods of doubt, insecurity, and even regression. These moments, which can feel like significant setbacks, are actually a natural and essential part of the growth process. Embracing the struggle and understanding how contraction fuels growth can transform our perspective, helping us navigate these challenging times with resilience and confidence.

It can be so uncomfortable to notice our gaps, to feel like someone else knows more or learns quicker and to feel we don’t have it all figured out or should be better. And part of the process of learning anything new or showing up for ourselves in new ways mentally, emotionally and/or physically means coming in direct contact with those places where stories of inferiority or not enough live.

As we grow, part of that process is to notice and be aware of what we don’t know, what skills we lack and what blocks get in our way. That is a necessary, normal and even powerful process but it can also be really uncomfortable or even scary at times. And that discomfort and our desire to not feel that discomfort can lead us to be unwilling to explore the things that will activate all of our not enough stories.

Yet when we recognize, discomfort is a normal part of growth and we create acceptance to feel that discomfort, we don’t make ourselves wrong or less than for feeling that discomfort, then we can use it to get laser focused on our next steps.

The Growth-Contraction Cycle

Growth is rarely a linear journey. Instead, it follows a cyclical pattern of expansion and contraction. Just as muscles grow stronger through cycles of exertion and recovery, our personal and professional development often involves pushing boundaries, facing challenges, and then retreating to consolidate gains.

In fact when I teach kayaking, something I always share with my students after they get comfortable with one part of a new skill, is “As I teach you this next step, keep in mind that you may momentarily get worse at the first step. It may feel like everything went out the window. That is normal and NOT cause for concern. It is part of the process.”

Contraction periods can manifest as feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, or the sensation that progress has stalled. These experiences are not signs of failure; rather, they are crucial phases where reflection, learning, and internalization occur. During these times, we absorb the lessons from our experiences, develop new skills, and prepare for the next phase of growth.

Even though I teach this, it is something I need to remind myself when, for example I’m learning a new life coaching skill. It used to frustrate me that I felt whenever I added something new, that suddenly I didn’t know anything anymore. It used to scare me until I remembered what I taught my kayaking students. It’s natural because like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, there is a process of dissolution as we grow and transform.

The Value of Insecurity

Insecurity and self-doubt are common feelings during contraction phases. These emotions can be uncomfortable, but they also serve an important purpose. Insecurity prompts us to reassess our goals, question our methods, and seek new knowledge. It drives us to step out of our comfort zones and explore uncharted territories.

When we feel like others are progressing faster or achieving more, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. However, recognizing that everyone has their own unique growth timeline can alleviate some of this pressure. Comparing ourselves to others often overlooks the unseen struggles and setbacks they too have experienced. Embracing our own journey, with its unique rhythm of expansion and contraction, allows us to focus on personal progress rather than external benchmarks.

The Power of Reflection

Periods of contraction are ideal for reflection. Taking time to assess our achievements, understand our mistakes, and recalibrate our strategies is crucial for sustainable growth. Reflection helps us gain insights into what works and what doesn’t, enabling us to make informed decisions moving forward.

Reflection and even celebrating the changes along the way is something I help my clients with. It can be easy when we are in it, to get stuck in self judgement. Journaling, meditation, and seeking feedback and support from trusted mentors, friends or peers can be effective ways to reflect during contraction periods.

These practices allow us to process our experiences, clarify our thoughts, and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our goals.

Building Resilience

Experiencing and overcoming contraction phases builds resilience. Each time we navigate through these challenging periods, we strengthen our ability to handle adversity. Resilience is not about avoiding difficulties but rather developing the capacity to bounce back and continue moving forward despite setbacks.

By viewing contraction as a natural part of growth, we can approach challenges with a more positive mindset. Instead of fearing failure, we learn to see it as an opportunity for growth. This shift in perspective empowers us to take risks, try new things, and ultimately achieve more than we thought possible.

What is something you are currently feeling contraction, disappointment or fear around? How can you reframe the experience? If I can support you, please reach out. It would be my honor to assist you and help facilitate your inner growth.

Embracing the Journey

Understanding that contraction fuels growth helps us embrace the entirety of our journey. Growth is not just about the end result but also about the process of getting there. Each struggle, setback, and moment of doubt is a stepping stone on the path to success.

The first two episodes of my podcast very much speak to this concept. Episode two, “Moving Through The Muck” is available now wherever you get your podcasts: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2367653/share

When we are able to normalize that we will feel struggle or discomfort at various points along our journey then we don’t have to wrong ourselves for having those feelings. We can be compassionate with ourselves and with the hurting parts. We can gain trust that this discomfort is simply a normal and expected part of the process rather than a cause for concern or a statement that there is something wrong.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling insecure or stuck, remember that you are in a phase of contraction that is setting the stage for your next leap forward. Embrace the struggle, reflect on your experiences, and trust in the cyclical nature of growth. By doing so, you’ll not only navigate through challenging times with greater ease but also emerge stronger and more resilient on the other side.

Embrace the journey, and let the natural rhythm of contraction and growth propel you toward your fullest potential.